day 4: how i became a mind reader

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As with all renovations(not my first rodeo), there is furious activity the first two days–things being removed, smashed, sanded, large trucks with big strapping men hauling those things away, music blaring, and like a high school party cleared out by cops, it’s followed by complete silence with the homeowner surveying the damage.

I’m not reaching maximum anxiety yet since I’m fully aware of the process. Like I said, this isn’t my first rodeo, and being the daughter of a contractor, I grew up in a house in constant disarray(ahem…renewal). My dad bought a fixer-upper on a gigantic lot when I was in my teens, and we literally had to camp out in the front yard while part of the house was being built. How did we get away without the neighbors calling the cops on us? Dad was no dummy, the first thing he did, was build a fence around the property so tall that it would put The Great Wall of China to shame. Although we did have one incident where a nosy neighbor living a block away from us was able to peer into our front yard from her top floor with binoculars, and she called the cops on us. But this was Queens, and back then, toddlers could be hanging out in the middle of the street like it was the local Gymboree, and you wouldn’t see anyone in blue for days. I remember a cop looking around the perimeter of the house, and then leaving when it didn’t look like we were drug dealers. The only reason we even knew about the peeping Tina, was that she eventually confronted my dad one day as he was backing out of the driveway in his truck. But Dad could cuss, and he gave her a mouthful; she never complained about our renovations again. In fact, months later, she came by to see the finished house. Again, this was Queens.

I expect more activity in the next few days. The only visitor so far today has been the electrician who may have been taken aback by my enthusiasm. I spotted his truck from upstairs, and beat him to the door after running down the stairs and almost tripping over my kids’ sneakers. I then followed him around, asking him redundant questions about the outlet and switch positions. When I asked him if he thought my design plans would look nice, he gave me a pained look that spoke volumes.(My son asked me this morning out of the blue, what super power I desired after telling me that he would want lightning speed. I asked for mind reading powers. I think my wish has been granted). I hear some trucks in the driveway, which is music to my ears.

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2 Responses

  1. Rosalie says:

    This is hilarious. My superpower would allow me to be invisible when I want to be. Think of all the private conversations I’d be able to hear. Ha ha.

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